nine years today

i was diagnosed with lung cancer nine years ago today.  i'm feeling much better today than i did nine years ago.  it has been, at times, an exhausting fight.  at others, it doesn't feel like a struggle at all.  but it has been there, every single day.  through weddings, funerals, vacations, birthdays, and holidays.  it is there when i wake up and when i go to sleep at night.  it isn't the first thing on my mind - the good things are - my nephew, my friends, and now, my dog.  having things to look forward to - a quick trip north, a weekend in state college, or a weekend closer to home - are always helpful.  and in that manner, the past nine years have passed.

this is a disease that kills people.  it is ruthless and it doesn't care about who it attacks.  rich, poor, old, young, smoker, non-smokers, survivors all.  thank goodness for the doctors, nurses, and researchers who toil each day to make the patients' experience better, to develop treatment plans and new therapies.  they are a passionate army.

in nine years i have never had to do anything by myself; there has always been a family member or a friend by my side, whether it was for chemo treatment, fundraising, or signing consent forms for surgery.  they've been there for the good times, too.  clear scans and successful surgeries, yes, but more importantly, all those special occasions.  new years, tropical vacations, ski trips, boat rides, first children, graduations.  being there for more is what keeps me motivated.

it was a beautiful morning this morning and all i wanted to do was get outside for a walk with peachy.  there isn't a better way to celebrate.  fresh air and sunshine on a cool day.  there is nothing better.