tuesday in august

 does this count as a manicure?  mud treatment?

 when i get near lake superior, i just have to put my feet in it

 every sunset is a beautiful one.

six herons flying overhead at sunset!

 the bugs were pretty relentless.

these loons came to say goodbye, laughing, flapping, fishing, generally being loons.

i recently spent a week at the lake.  it was a quiet visit, quiet in just the way i needed it.  the days were not particularly full, but before i knew it i was packing to return home.  mornings started with a cup of black tea sweetened with a touch of maple syrup, my book, and my winter hat, sitting on the boat, reading and watching the world wake up a bit.  then we would go for our walk, swatting flies the entire time.  breakfast, the crossword puzzle, and then some sort of project to work on or an adventure.  venturing to a great lake in search of pie, leaving no antique unturned in a tiny little town, or searching high and low for yarn...these are the wildest happenings rural wisconsin has to offer.  i stacked a cord of wood for a neighbor - could've stacked two more if i didn't have to leave so soon.  and i got to do some cooking, some dicing and chopping - things i enjoy but really don't do often at home.  loons cried and laughed at night and i was usually sound asleep before the star show really got good.

coming home i was looking forward to a CT scan in just five days.  my anxiety levels peaked on sunday.  i enjoyed a fantastic bike ride with a couple of friends who don't mind my slow pace.  it was a beautiful weekend and I felt strong.  my mind is stronger, though, and i spent the rest of the day worrying.  it wasn't so bad, but it is par for the course when it comes to scans.  more than anything, i know all the work that comes with switching treatments and the stress and scans, and i didn't want to have to face that right now.  this is the first summer i haven't spent at least a week of in the hospital in three years.  i'm enjoying it.

good news, here it is.  no sign of those renegade cells in my chest.  my head looks ok - i had that scan a couple of weeks ago.  no scans for two months.  there was more laughing than there were concerned looks, though there were a couple of those as i described some slight side effects i have been having - some mild neuropathy, probably from the medicine i am taking and very intermittent dizziness, probably associated with the brain zapping last spring.  those things i can live with.  i judge how concerned i should be with things based upon the level of concern of my medical team.  there were some raised eyebrows and brief discussion of whether the neuropathy has been noted in other patients on this protocol.  but mostly, happy, relieved faces.  so, that's me, once again.  happy and relieved.