seven

today marks seven years.  it feels like it has passed in the blink of an eye.  days, weeks, months, seasons, years have come and gone and milestones have passed.  one year felt like a victory.  seven feels like a lifetime of defeats and victories. and that's the thing.  i will never again have a life without cancer.  that's a threshold i passed a long time ago.  you can ask me today, "how are you?" and i can give you the short or the long answer.  mostly, i feel good.  i am currently sitting at around 6,000 feet above sea level and i am really looking forward to sea level tomorrow.  i've been away from home and i want to be there now.  in the past year it has become more tiring to travel and not being in my routine is more difficult.  but as i know, there can always be improvement.  cancer is a powerful thing. and its treatments ravage my body and brain, my psyche and soul.  this time around has not been so easy.  but it is amazing to be here seven years later to talk about it.  i've reached a point i never really considered when i was diagnosed; seven years.  i have not been alone a single step, there have been myriad sets of arms and hands there to catch me when i've stumbled.  again, it is a powerful thing and i am breathtakingly aware of what it has provided me as much as what it has stolen, and it is good to reflect upon those things today.