time is flying

i realize i have not written in almost a month and it is not for lack of intention.  i've thought to myself many times in the past month that it was prime time for spending some moments with my thoughts and the keyboard.  but life has been busy and while i've enjoyed very full days, it comes at the cost of free time, mainly at the end of the day.  when it comes down to writing or sleeping, sleep always wins.  luckily, i have been well-rested in the past month and have had more time to work, to do fun things like crossfit and yoga and going on little trips.  i just haven't had much to say about it.  it feels kind of like i've been on the outward side of a sigh, savoring the rush of oxygen i'd just inhaled.  i haven't wanted to interrupt it, because i've been savoring it, feeling mostly back to some semblance of normal.

it takes work, staying on the positive side of things, on the level side of things instead of succumbing to the negative, frightened and anxious tendencies of the past months.  it has felt less like work in the last month.  even last friday, waiting for scan results, including a brain scan, i wasn't worried until i finally sat down in the exam room.  usually i get nervous on the trip to the hospital if not sooner, but i was generally calm, and just felt like if something was wrong i would know it.  turns out, i was right.  sure, there are little things we don't know about, like the pins and needles and intermittent back pain, but they don't seem to be cancer related.  maybe treatment related, but there aren't tumors there.  again, big sigh.  relief.

last weekend was spent at the beach with old friends (and a relatively new one) and i could not have dreamed of a better way to celebrate, just by relaxing, eating, breathing salt air, and enjoying time with people i care about.  h and j were by my side that first weekend way back in january and it felt so good to have them by my side eight months later.  we laughed a lot, tried to translate eighteen-month-old language, watched some football, and got a lot of fresh air.  just being there, listening to music on the drive there, falling asleep to the sound of the waves, is something that seemed faraway not too long ago.  life is full.  i am rich.