snapshots of normal

it has been two weeks since i completed radiation.  it feels like so much longer.  in a good way.  my fatigue has lessened a bit, though i still take a nap each day.  my body is busy rebuilding important cells so rest is important.  i've been eating lots of fruits and veggies and getting protein.  i've also had some ice cream and bratwurst (thanks h & j).  everything in moderation, leaning toward the healthy, that's what i say.

i'm a morning person.  i love the world when it is just waking up.  it is even better when i don't have to wake up and go straight to the hospital.  just the thought of the place makes me feel sick to my stomach.  i don't have to go back until may 16, that day is just for signing consent forms and having pre-surgery tests done.  my surgery is going to be may 23.  so, i am trying to do my best not to even think about it until i have to.  i can do a pretty good job of it, but when the phone rings with a 215 number i kind of feel like throwing it out the window.  it is a strange thing, this aversion to all things hospital-related.  i haven't really felt it before.  but right now, i want nothing to do with the place - not to be confused with the people, whom i still love. 

so, instead of the hospital i've been going to the gym.  nothing like ring rows and box jumps to get me back on track.  wednesday was my first day back and after air squats, back squats, and the rest of the workout, my legs are still hating me.  it is amazing how quickly i fell out of shape, if three months is quick - it certainly felt fast.  the nice thing this time is i'm not recovering from a massive lung infection, so cardiovascularly i feel pretty good.  but man.  muscles.  who knew.  i'm taking it easy and listening to my body and, of course, won't be doing any handstand push-ups.  but it is really nice to be back out amongst the living.

i'm taking the rest of life in bite-sized chunks.  the dishes can wait, the laundry can sit in the dryer a while, and i might as well not dust until pollen season is over.  these are all things that typically drive me a little crazy but these days if the option is cleaning or reading, or even better, napping, i'll be doing either of the latter two.  all the other stuff can wait.  i'm trying to heal, rest, and feel normal.