valentine's day blood clot

holy crap, you have no idea how badly i wish i was here

I woke up on Valentine's Day with a very strange, very swollen left arm.  Knowing this really isn't normal I called my nurse and she told me, unfortunately, I would have to head to Penn to get an ultrasound because it sounds like a blood clot.  I was very upset because Mom and I had spent the prior two days at the hospital, meeting with my oncologists and working to gather information for what my next steps are in treatment - a daunting task in and of itself.  Valentine's Day is Mom's birthday (36 this year) and I had wanted the day to be all about her - nothing having to do with cancer land.  But, off to the hospital we went.

I had the ultrasound right away and it was confirmed I have a clot in the left side of my neck.  What this means is I have to start on blood thinners right away.  But, I just had brain surgery three and a half weeks ago.  So that is a complicating factor because, well, bleeding in the brain is a bad thing.  So, next I had a head CT scan so the neurosurgeon and his colleagues can confirm I can start the thinner and go home instead of spending 24 hours in the hospital (24 hours including a Friday, which comes dangerously close to probably spending the weekend in the hospital, just for observation).  We waited for the results as my nurse talked to the surgeon while he was in surgery!  They put my images on the screen in his operating room and he reviewed them.  Beth told me when his nurse answered her call he said "is this about Dols?!",  Only a select few in my life have called me Dols.  This cracked me up.  He and I had just had a lengthy conversation the night before regarding my next steps.  I'm sure he was  just as shocked as everyone else at this new development.

But, the scan looked good and the head of his team confirmed only a 2-3% chance for bleeding and they all agreed sending me home was the best option.  So, we waited some more as I learned about life on blood thinners - something many people deal with every day.  For three months I'll be on an injection, twice a day, which I get to do myself.  I was terrified to learn to do this, you see, even after six and a half years I still hate needles.  But, when I sat down and had to do it, no problem, I even laughed at how easy and painless it was.  After that time we'll decide whether to continue with the injection version or switch to Cumidan - which I'll take for a long time.  I have to be careful not to cut myself, and I'll be more of a runner than a cyclist (head injuries would be extra bad and these roads are narrow).  I'll probably be sticking to blues on the mountain, too.  But I'm pretty sure Crossfit has very few sharp edges so I am psyched I have that to look forward to!

Yesterday we were completely exhausted, physically and emotionally.  Already today I am feeling a little more calm - still worried about my brain and the drugs, but realizing the blood thinner thing is something that is very common in cancer patients and it was most likely brought on by the surgery.  It is just poor timing, making it feel like everything is happening at once (which it kind of is).

So, I am looking forward to hopefully a calm weekend - nothing out of the ordinary at all, vanilla, plain.  Except for the leftover cupcakes from last night.  I'll eat a few extra.