rainy sunday

a rainy sunday has given me the perfect opportunity to do nothing for a morning.  not nothing, exactly, but operating without an agenda is pretty nice.  i took care of the over-ripe bananas and handful of leftover chocolate chips by finally baking the muffins i'd been thinking of.  paired with a cup of tea one made a perfect breakfast.  i have to admit, i'm currently sitting on the couch, watching a rerun of the a&m vs. la tech football game.  i should be finishing my christmas cards, but maybe that will come with time.  it is just way too cozy in here, especially with the backdrop of rain pouring outside. 

it was an eventful week.  last friday i made the trip to HUP for my first PET scan since may.  to say i wasn't looking forward to the results would be something of an understatement.  the PET in may preceded the bronchoscopy, which in turn lead to my pneumonia.  we didn't get any answers then, and i was worried it would be more of the same this time.  the unknown is the hardest place to exist under the best circumstances.  for a while the pneumonia so occupied my mind and being i was forced to put the potential cancer on the back burner.  but as i felt better and better it moved back toward the top of my list of concerns.  you know, that and whether i'd be able to ever do a real pullup.  so, the PET scan.  everything was rather uneventful and the highlight of the day was meeting a friend for lunch afterward.  i went home and for most of the weekend i was able to relax and not worry too much.

monday brought with it the worst workout of my brief crossfit career.  we kicked things off with banded sprints (you put a big rubber band around your chest, and someone holds it behind you as you try to sprint across the gym and back... then you switch spots, guaranteeing no rest for sixteen trips across and back).  i never recovered.  i was left wishing everyone else would attempt them breathing through a straw.  at least we were all huffing and puffing.  i'm pretty sure my partner, someone i'd just met for the first time that morning, thought i was going to die.  next up were four rounds of 30 jumping squats (it is what it sounds like, plus a weighted barbell across your back, i used 35#s) and 20 ring pushups (pushups on gymnastic rings lowered to the floor).  it was the toughest workout ever.  as i was doing it, all i could think was, there's no way this cancer is back if i am surviving this.  jeebus, save me.  no way.  well, after a couple of rounds, i couldn't even think anymore.

tuesday morning mom and i once again drove to HUP and we sat for a while, waiting for my blood test.  we sat a while more, watching headline news on a loop, until i was called back for my vitals to be taken and to see the doctor.  a fellow (medical fellow, i'm not using an old-fashioned word for a guy) came in and i realized i had met her before; she immediately told me my scans looked good.  maybe she used the word great.  i really don't know.  all i know is i almost immediately got very hot as blood began flowing into all the muscles i'd been holding tense all morning.  i almost cried.  i think mom was crying.  i really just couldn't believe after six months whatever had been in there back in may hadn't spread anywhere.  there are still spots lighting up in my lung, but they seem to be related to the pneumonia.  there has been some resolution of the pneumonia as well, things continue to improve.  this is all fantastic news.  i don't have to go back to the doctors until march.  i'm not quite sure what i'll do with myself.  oh, wait, yes i do. 

sweet relief, rewarded after a hard week of work with a glorious rainy sunday.  i'll take it.