good scans raise questions, too

the scan results were good. there's an area of inflammation in my right lung that hasn't been there before, it shows as something kind of cloudy on the image. the radiologists say there's nothing that looks like cancer, and the doctor and np were both happy with the results, so i am going to look forward with guarded optimism this is just something related to a mild chest cold or my slacking on using my inhaler each day. nothing more, nothing less at this point. instead of a three-month hiatus i'll take two months, at the request of my doctor. those will be two full months, with minneapolis, snowbird, and chile on the itinerary.

i have to head in next week for blood tests; my anc was pretty low today, as it was a year ago. i attributed it then to stress from traveling, stress at work, and less sleep than usual. i'll do the same this year.

i give myself ample time to chase my dreams, go amazing places, see beautiful things, and visit wonderful people. i work hard and sleep well. i eat what i want and what i should. i love my family and the outdoors. all these things, i am so lucky.

i still have to say, though - i fucking hate being a cancer patient.