what if all the people...

i have taken part in four livestrong challenges and i have been to four fundraising appreciation dinners. for me, it is at these dinners that the most poignant moment of each challenge has taken place.

first, all survivors are asked to stand up. there is enormous applause for those of us standing. we represent about one person per table, or maybe 30 people out of 300. it is moving. it brings me to tears and gives me goosebumps.

but it does not stop there.

next, everyone who has lost someone they loved to cancer is asked to stand. about a third of the room is on their feet. the goosebumps and tears grow.

third, everyone who has cared for someone with cancer is asked to stand. nearly the entire room is on their feet at this moment.

when the final question is asked, simply whether you have known someone with cancer, every single person in the room is standing.

it is a humbling reminder of what this is all about. it is not about getting on a bike and counting the miles. it isn't about grabbing a chance to see lance armstrong. it isn't about getting a hat or a jersey.

it is about people, people who are loved by countless people around them. there are fathers, mothers, grandparents, sisters, brothers, cousins, friends, lovers, and of course, the children. this horrible thing comes into their lives and instantly it is all changed. priorities are reestablished, habits are broken, and somehow life continues to manifest itself in beautiful and maddening ways. somehow we find ways to do good, even in the face of it all. in countless ways, we wake up each morning, face down fears, and thank goodness for the good things in our lives. it is as terrifying as it is wonderful, and everyone who is on their feet in that room at the end of the night knows this dearly, and we represent myriad others who do, too.

this, my fourth challenge, my fourth ride, meant so much to me for so many reasons. i'm lucky to have shared my day with two good friends, one who matched my pedal strokes even though he could have ridden in circles around me, literally pushing me up some hills. feeling a hand on your back when things are at their toughest out on the road is a perfect analogy to what everyone needs when time gets tough, and i have had those times in the past year. somewhere around mile 63 or so i felt myself getting completely emotional; i don't remember if it was an uphill or downhill or somewhere in between, but i just wanted to cry, to sob, to get it all out. some tears came down but that was all. as i crossed the finish i smiled and felt proud.

if you ever doubt the goodness of humanity, ask me about these weekends. there is something powerful in doing good, shared with thousands upon thousands of others. and if you can make just one more person smile or feel honored, it is worth that much more.