the weekends

despite lounging on far away beaches and napping on airplanes and eating good meals i feel as though i've been in constant motion since last friday morning. i spent memorial day weekend in siesta key, florida. each day was pretty much the same. i would wake up, eat breakfast, and take my pills. then i'd head out for a two-mile run before it got too hot. i would stretch in a spot overlooking the intercoastal waterway, then head to the condo for a shower and a snack followed by an hour or so of reading. errands were run, lunch was eaten, then the beach would be the afternoon destination, where i'd swim, walk about a mile and a half, and then i'd sit in the shade or a little in the sun until it was time to head home for a quick shower and some snacks. dinners were late, and i would fall into a deep sleep each night just to have the alarm wake me up to do it all again in the morning.

being a beach person is a somewhat new development for me. i've always liked being at the beach and have never been the type to hate the sand or be annoyed by crowds. but in the past few years i have developed an affinity for the hot, humid air, the smell of the salt water, and the slowed pace of life. it is easy to have life served, no fuss, each day. it is even easier when the water is turquoise, the sun is blazing, and the sand is like powdered sugar. i am not sure when my next beach day will take place but in the back of my head i am already looking forward to it.

this weekend came quickly after last week's three day affair and i filled it right up with being busy. saturday was for garage sale hunting and yoga in the morning. then i loaded up the if and headed to pottstown to join jimnerd and colee for a little ride along the river. the smell of the woods right now is mind blowing. we rode past green bogs, honeysuckle bushes, and fields full of tall grass. i loved being on the cinder trail on the if. i could just turn over my legs and go hard for a bit and that bike just fits me so well. it is easy to be happy on a bike in good company. we followed up the ride with insane home-made turkey burgers and pasta salad, then headed to long acres for ice cream. we all ate too much, it was agreed, but it was the best overeating i've done in a while.

today i set out with wendy for a mountain bike ride at middle run and white clay; i have a general low-level fear of getting lost on the trails i've never really had to follow myself, but we managed to put together a nice loop and were rewarded each time we ducked into the woods as the shade greeted us and blocked out the august-like sun. word is they're calling for boomers later and i'm hoping they show up and cool this place down. there's no reason for it to be this hot in june... but i'm loving it in the meantime.

at the front of my mind nearly every day is a sense of amazement because just a couple of months ago i was feeling absolutely terrible. i didn't want to run, i didn't want to ride, all i wanted to do was sleep, and i was doing so at a rate unprecedented for even me. looking back, i realize just how sick that chemo was making me, and just how tough a time my body had bouncing back from each treatment. i am feeling better than i have in years, and i keep looking for wood to knock on each time i breathe that simple sentence. i feel a distinct need to enjoy this while i can. big things are coming - a trip to japan and a new apartment - and i feel like holding my breath while i am feeling somewhat like myself again, or at least a self i'd kind of decided i wouldn't get to enjoy again.