leaving the familiar behind

tomorrow morning i take off for tokyo. i am looking forward to seeing my friend jeff and am excited to share my experience of this place halfway around the world with his family. i'm sure it will make me miss my family from time to time, but they'll be with me in small ways, too. other than seeing jeff soon after getting off the plane, i have very few expectations. i have done little research. i'm feeling a bit intimidated by this place where there's no hint of familiarity in the language or writing. i have been able to squeak by in europe, and moreso in central and south america, thanks to my elementary spanish abilities. at least in those places, some of the words and phrases make sense. the culture is also roughly similar to ours and i have felt at home in places like france, italy, costa rica, and chile. i am not so sure japan will feel like home. but i think that is an exciting, good thing.

i have been reading "dreaming in hindi" at the recommendation of a friend. it is about a woman who survived stage iv breast cancer and picked up and moved to india for a year, to learn to speak hindi and immerse herself in a completely different culture. i've enjoyed the book immensely, it is well written and descriptive, both of her experience in the country as well as the science of what goes on in your mind when you're learning a completely new language. very little of the book is about cancer. that makes me glad. but, i can see many parallels between learning a new language and mastering the cancer dance (if it can ever be mastered at all). your entire world as you know it is flipped around. the days' routines change, ebb and flow with what is going on around you. slowly it all seems to make more sense. words stick and you learn to use them. some don't and you have to keep pounding away at it to make sense of it all.

interestingly, some of the author's experiences compare to ones i have had in south america. i tried to improve my spanish a bit while i was there a number of years ago. by the end of my ten days, i realized i was forgetting english words for things. i'd pick up something familiar, say, an apple, and grope for the english word. all i could pull up was manzana. it would happen regularly, especially as the hours in the day progressed. by the time i went to bed each night i couldn't put together a sentence in english or spanish. it was both frustrating and fun.

the other experience i have noted is that after a number of weeks trying to immerse yourself in a new language, you begin to enter a silent phase. children do this when they are really ramping up their vocabulary. all of a sudden, you are just trying to learn as many words as you can, trying to make sense of the grammar and speaking that's going on around you. you aren't ignoring it, and you aren't ignoring the people there, either. you're just quiet, trying to figure it all out. i think i went through a similar phase this spring, in february, march, and april, as i tried to get a grip on what was happening to me as my cancer worsened. in addition to feeling like complete crap, i just didn't have too much to say because i felt as though so much was going on around me; i just had to learn everything i possibly could in order to emerge on the other side, better off. i think i have managed to do that. i learned a lot about myself and the people around me and now i can speak a new language when it comes to my cancer. it is an ongoing process, but i haven't had quiet like that since going through radiation three years ago.

so, japan. i imagine i might be quiet, trying to see everything i can. but i think i will be smiling a lot, glad to be with an old friend and his loved ones and trying to learn as much as i can about a new culture in a completely new place. i'll catch you on the flip side in ten days or so.