close to home
the new york times has hit the mark with me this morning.
first, a story about maintenance therapy chemo treatments, and second, a story about scars and how they define us.
i think, for today, i'll just talk about the maintenance routine for chemotherapy.
one of my chemo drugs, alimta, was just recently approved by the FDA for use in maintenance therapy for lung cancer treatment. my doctor pointed this out to me the last time i met with her. i've been on a maintenance regimen including alimta for just over a year, now. my other drug is avastin. both drugs cost well into the thousands of dollars range every time i have a treatment. but my tumors haven't grown, i haven't developed new tumors, and i've been able to live my life pretty much as usual in that time frame. who knows what would have happened if those drugs had not been made available to me.
i do harbor a fear of discontinuing my chemo. as much as i would love to stop seeing my doctors every three weeks, stop the incessant onslaught of needles and iv's and side effects, i do not want to stop it and exchange control for rampant disease progression. perhaps it wouldn't happen that way, but there's no way to know for sure, and as long as that is the case, i will take my drugs and try to continue living with cancer in my life. the cancer might be a minimal part right now, by definition, but the treatments dictate the rhythm of life, as much as i don't want to admit it. at some point more than a year ago that was the reality i accepted. i'm glad for the chance to have extra time.
first, a story about maintenance therapy chemo treatments, and second, a story about scars and how they define us.
i think, for today, i'll just talk about the maintenance routine for chemotherapy.
one of my chemo drugs, alimta, was just recently approved by the FDA for use in maintenance therapy for lung cancer treatment. my doctor pointed this out to me the last time i met with her. i've been on a maintenance regimen including alimta for just over a year, now. my other drug is avastin. both drugs cost well into the thousands of dollars range every time i have a treatment. but my tumors haven't grown, i haven't developed new tumors, and i've been able to live my life pretty much as usual in that time frame. who knows what would have happened if those drugs had not been made available to me.
i do harbor a fear of discontinuing my chemo. as much as i would love to stop seeing my doctors every three weeks, stop the incessant onslaught of needles and iv's and side effects, i do not want to stop it and exchange control for rampant disease progression. perhaps it wouldn't happen that way, but there's no way to know for sure, and as long as that is the case, i will take my drugs and try to continue living with cancer in my life. the cancer might be a minimal part right now, by definition, but the treatments dictate the rhythm of life, as much as i don't want to admit it. at some point more than a year ago that was the reality i accepted. i'm glad for the chance to have extra time.
Comments
I don't know about you but I find this stuff so frustrating. I know they can't study every unique situation, but I just wish they would study my unique situation and your unique situation. Instead, it is all just guess work and there is so much at stake.
I think you are wise to get the maintenance therapy. I wish it showed more promise for ovarian cancer.
It also frustrates me that cost is always danced around in these articles. My chemos cost about $30K each. Is my life worth it? I like to think so... but I know I'm just a number that some actuary is crunching at some insurance company... and also now in government think tank.
I'm pretty negative tonight. I go for CT scan Thursday so I'm cranky I guess. Plus, some dumb dudes on the bike path called me fat. I wanted to scream at them about all my body has been through and kick them in the teeth.
Sorry for the absurdly long comment.