twenty
friday came and went and the only remarkable thing about the day was that my teeth hurt. here is my usual smile.
here is what my teeth have felt like since thursday morning or so. obviously, they are huge, so much so in fact, they no longer fit into my mouth. at least that is what i expect to see when i look in the mirror. instead i see an image similar to the one above. everything is as it should be, nicely in a braces-free row, white and shiny and lovely.
it is one of the odd side effects of my friends alimta and avastin. i was seriously hoping this side effect would be one that went by the wayside with the departure of carboplatin. it seems to get worse with each round. i've taken to using sensodyne, rinsing with a moisture-rich mouthwash, and yesterday i even got some dairy queen to cool things down, when i wasn't even feeling like ice cream. there must be something wrong with me. i looked it up in the info about the drugs. both can cause mouth sores, which this isn't. i've had them before, and i think this might be worse. both can also cause mouth pain. are you kidding me? i survived awkward adolescence without braces, even though, as every kid who didn't have them knows, sometimes i wanted them just to fit in. but every month or so friends would have them tightened and they were reduced to eating nothing for lunch other than something mushy and something to drink. it sounded painful. well, this is painful. perhaps it is punishment for wanting something i just couldn't have, but really, it has gone too far. i can't wait for another round. it hurts just to talk.
well, it did.
as with everything chemo, the mouth pain has abated. i've woken from the slumber of the past days and my mouth isn't quite so sore today. a lingering ache persists but nothing like what i went to bed with last night. this time, aside from the mouth issue, really the only problem was being tired. and what can you do when you literally can't keep your eyes open at 12:30 in the afternoon each day? lie down and sleep. because any effort at a walk or a drive would result in a quick trip to the ditch and with the ticks around here i'm not interested in sleeping in the grass. gone with the carboplatin seems to be the overall body ache and complete body lethargy. this time, i seemed to have some juice in my limbs but my head was just too groggy. i'll take it as an improvement. at least my kidneys and my nervous system are getting a break.
so today it was back out on the bike. i adopted a 12-week training cycle for the century in hopes the occassional chemo weeks wouldn't hold me back too much. at the end of it, i'll have completed eight or so weeks of full training, hopefully, which is what i had been planning on doing in the first place. now i just add the challenge of resetting the clock a bit every three weeks. i hear the chemo is better for me than cocaine, but that's just what the pros say. see, i can make things tougher for my top-shape body, too.
i love my bike. today i rolled around 20 miles of chester county, circuitously avoiding the biggest hills, opting for longer, less steep climbs when absolutely necessary. my legs were certainly telling me i hadn't been on a bike in a week, but my body wasn't necessarily telling me i'd been on drugs. i was just thrilled not to be pedaling with my teeth.
i am really looking forward to another two weeks of riding and "normal" routine. the three-week hiccup is getting repetitive and annoying, but i am already looking forward to a break in august where i get to go four weeks, or so i hope, as long as things stay quiet until then.
and, as a side note, friday was an anniversary of sorts, one that went unnoticed by me until yesterday, because every once in a while i think, "what was going on a year ago" as i chart my progress along this trip. a year ago i was told i didn't have cancer for the first time. it was one of the single happiest days of my life, without a doubt. but my bike ride today made me equally happy. sometimes it is just nice to get out of bed before the sun is bright, eat some breakfast, and ride a bike. news or not, i'm still here, which is pretty nice consolation.
here is what my teeth have felt like since thursday morning or so. obviously, they are huge, so much so in fact, they no longer fit into my mouth. at least that is what i expect to see when i look in the mirror. instead i see an image similar to the one above. everything is as it should be, nicely in a braces-free row, white and shiny and lovely.
it is one of the odd side effects of my friends alimta and avastin. i was seriously hoping this side effect would be one that went by the wayside with the departure of carboplatin. it seems to get worse with each round. i've taken to using sensodyne, rinsing with a moisture-rich mouthwash, and yesterday i even got some dairy queen to cool things down, when i wasn't even feeling like ice cream. there must be something wrong with me. i looked it up in the info about the drugs. both can cause mouth sores, which this isn't. i've had them before, and i think this might be worse. both can also cause mouth pain. are you kidding me? i survived awkward adolescence without braces, even though, as every kid who didn't have them knows, sometimes i wanted them just to fit in. but every month or so friends would have them tightened and they were reduced to eating nothing for lunch other than something mushy and something to drink. it sounded painful. well, this is painful. perhaps it is punishment for wanting something i just couldn't have, but really, it has gone too far. i can't wait for another round. it hurts just to talk. well, it did.
as with everything chemo, the mouth pain has abated. i've woken from the slumber of the past days and my mouth isn't quite so sore today. a lingering ache persists but nothing like what i went to bed with last night. this time, aside from the mouth issue, really the only problem was being tired. and what can you do when you literally can't keep your eyes open at 12:30 in the afternoon each day? lie down and sleep. because any effort at a walk or a drive would result in a quick trip to the ditch and with the ticks around here i'm not interested in sleeping in the grass. gone with the carboplatin seems to be the overall body ache and complete body lethargy. this time, i seemed to have some juice in my limbs but my head was just too groggy. i'll take it as an improvement. at least my kidneys and my nervous system are getting a break.
so today it was back out on the bike. i adopted a 12-week training cycle for the century in hopes the occassional chemo weeks wouldn't hold me back too much. at the end of it, i'll have completed eight or so weeks of full training, hopefully, which is what i had been planning on doing in the first place. now i just add the challenge of resetting the clock a bit every three weeks. i hear the chemo is better for me than cocaine, but that's just what the pros say. see, i can make things tougher for my top-shape body, too.
i love my bike. today i rolled around 20 miles of chester county, circuitously avoiding the biggest hills, opting for longer, less steep climbs when absolutely necessary. my legs were certainly telling me i hadn't been on a bike in a week, but my body wasn't necessarily telling me i'd been on drugs. i was just thrilled not to be pedaling with my teeth.i am really looking forward to another two weeks of riding and "normal" routine. the three-week hiccup is getting repetitive and annoying, but i am already looking forward to a break in august where i get to go four weeks, or so i hope, as long as things stay quiet until then.
and, as a side note, friday was an anniversary of sorts, one that went unnoticed by me until yesterday, because every once in a while i think, "what was going on a year ago" as i chart my progress along this trip. a year ago i was told i didn't have cancer for the first time. it was one of the single happiest days of my life, without a doubt. but my bike ride today made me equally happy. sometimes it is just nice to get out of bed before the sun is bright, eat some breakfast, and ride a bike. news or not, i'm still here, which is pretty nice consolation.
Comments