week three, take five

it is hard to believe this is the fifth third week i have had since once again taking up temporary residence in the chemo chair way back in february. these three weeks have marked a return to summer time weather, a return to a busier season at work, and a return to a slightly more tired me that was more familiar this time last year as i was ramping up after treatment. there's no doubting things are taking their toll on my body. i'm bouncing back, still, but at a slower pace. i've been a bit more stressed as well, and i am sure that (a) that is not good for me and (b) it is slowing me down a bit.

last week i was in squaw valley, ca, for our semi-annual sales meeting. it was really great to be surrounded by familiar faces and be moving through work that feels good at this point. the long days tested me but i slept like a baby each night, which is nice at the slightly higher altitude. ever since they took part of my lung i have struggled with sleeping in the mountains; this trip i think i barely got the chance to turn out the light each night.

by thursday i was ready to head home and let life settle down (?) a little bit before tomorrow's chemo. i woke up thursday morning to the image below. yes, that's snow, on may 22. if you think i was less than thrilled to see it (and the temps associated with white stuff falling from the sky) you should have seen the employees. they are so over winter.


this weekend was a whirlwind of activity. on saturday we had the granogue mountain bike races in northern delaware. i volunteered some time marshalling one of the road crossings on course. it was great to see some smiling faces ride by, and really nice to still be involved in the race circuit. it is tough to watch everyone zipping by; once again, i get it in my head that i am capable of hopping on my bike and taking a spin. the only disconnect is that it is a slow one. i'll figure out though.

today we spent the day at rocks state park in maryland, rock climbing with some of rotten's colleagues. the approach was about a half-mile hike up, which slowed me down considerably and over the course of the day took a toll on my psyche. i really used to love being on the trails and hiking up and around the rocks getting climbs set up and then climbing them, resting in the shade in between efforts and shooting the shit. today i had a hard time - with the toughness of making my way to and from the climbs with only a daypack lightly loaded with water, a harness, and climbing shoes, i start to wonder if i'll ever get in another backpacking trip. i guess it could happen, but at a different pace and i would really have to rely upon the people with me to lend a hand. too bad they can't lend a lung. i was enjoying the day but the thoughts kept creeping up the back of my head. sometimes it can be tough. a quick dip in the creek after two fun routes really helped set me straight. at least i can still wade around a creek on one of the first hot summer days of the year.




so tomorrow it is back to the drugs, along with a trip to another hospital to meet with some other docs to see what they think about my situation. it makes me nervous to interact with new doctors, and i don't plan on keeping them around, really, but i know how important it is to making sure i am getting the best care possible. we saw a guy leading a really cool looking route today; he was probably 50. who knew i could be jealous of a 50 year-old?