march, get on with your bad self

as you might deduce from the photo above, it was windy at the philadelphia art museum this sunday. rain threatened for most of the day but mainly held off save for the early morning hours. i conveniently found myself nestled all snug in my bed for the duration following an ambitious day of moving on saturday. [read: no nap] the clouds provided a grey background for much of the day, which is something i've grown accustomed to by this time of the year. saturday had been radiant and warm, but sunday we returned to the doldrums of march. grey, wind, colder than it seems it should be. i am ready and waiting for this stuff to move on out. flowers are doing their darndest to push up out of the mulch and they're greeted with weather that isn't fit for anything save movie watching and packing on a few last "winter" pounds. i even saw snow showers in the five-day. please don't let it happen.


march weather sh_t storm.


last wednesday the rottenest and i headed out for a little roll around his newark, de neighborhood. i really look forward to riding my bike. it is pretty much all i want to do, other than skiing, and let's face it, i'm over winter, amazingly. now i want to ride my bike. not necessarily fast or far, just enough each day i am feeling up to it to make me smile and make me feel even slightly normal. wednesday was sunny but windy. i knew i was asking for a challenge against the wind but when go-time came i decided i was up for it. sometimes my head should listen to my lungs pleading for mercy. riding into the wind is no laughing matter for anyone, but for me it offers the quaint experience of feeling like i am drowning. i can't get a breath in and i can't spin my legs fast enough to keep up momentum. it was a frustrating first half of the ride as i fought the wind and fought my heart breaking on the inside, longing, foolishly, for better days when i could go out and do this no problem. there are days when i am easily frustrated and this was one of them. i begged and pleaded with myself to go on and continue, and i am glad i did. once we were down along white clay creek it was flat and beautiful with the water next to us. i could roll along on a big gear and enjoy my afternoon. it is all a roller coaster, it seems, and this ride along had pronounced ups and downs. what it came down to, though, is that i got to spend an hour on my bike, with my favorite guy, on beautiful roads.

i earned my fish tacos and spinach salad, that's all i'm saying.

so. i'll probably sneak in another ride before next week's scan and doctor appointment and hopefully chemo. it might still be march and she might still be showing me her worst side but i have faith that one of these days she'll have to give up and give us some warmth and sun and lay off the wind. things get better all the time.