where did my writing go?

this evening i was doing some cleaning - it is the thing that, unfortunately most often falls by the wayside in my everyday life. you know, laundry, vaccuming, going through piles of mail, magazines, bills (nothing overdue - that's great!). when i have the energy to (a) ride or (b) clean, i ride. same with (a) run or (b) clean. and of course don't forget (a) grocery shop and (b) clean. or my personal favorite (a) nap or (b) clean. so this evening i cooked a delicious bass (oh... ok, some eggs with veggies and fresh whole wheat bread toast mmm) and then got down to it. junk into the trash. trash into the can. magazines into piles - to read, to read again (first Powder mag of the season) and magazines to distro or recycle.

at the bottom of the pile i found the summer 2007 edition of "cure" magazine - cancer updates, research, and education. this edition's cover story is "solving the mystery - why people who never smoke get lung cancer". i save each edition of this magazine, in case there is something in there i might one day need to want to re-read or want to photocopy for someone else. i read the article when i received the magazine months ago, albeit with some trepidation and one eye closed. i know knowledge is power and i need to have as much of it as possible when facing my enemy (of which i am still hoping there isn't any in me...). a couple of weeks before initially reading this magazine, i read an article in another publication that described my stage and type of lung cancer as being "on death's doorstep". i steel myself against such phrases, though i know they exist, and perhaps rightly so, because this stuff is pretty serious. i am woefully and incredibly aware of numbers and statistics associated with my cancer, but i have convinced myself, and i live as though i am ONE person; i am NOT the statistics. i am me. and no one else who has gone before me is exactly like me. i am healthy and strong otherwise and i will beat the crap out of this stuff, as i have done already and hopefully won't have to again. things like that. but when you read about death's doorstep and consider for a split second "well, i hadn't thought it was THAT close" it is a strange thought process. thus, the mild trepidation and one eye closing yatta yatta when reading "cure" this summer.

the incredible thing about my disease is that it is wrongfully associated with smokers and generally unhealthy people. ok, maybe wrongfully is the incorrect word to use, but consider some of these facts, then consider the lack of funding for lung cancer research and the fact that we are really just getting the ball rolling with research into why this is happening:

- approximately 25.000 people who have never smoked will be diagnosed with lung cancer each year and 2/3 of them are women (!)

- 60% of lung cancer cases are diagnosed in non-smokers.

- nearly TWICE as many women die from lung cancer than breast cancer each year.

- five-year survival rates for breast cancer have climbed to 88% while five-year survival rates for lung cancer remain at 15%.

- 70% of lung cancer diagnoses are late-stage (III or IV) because early detection methods are still being debated.

i know i am up on my soapbox a bit this evening, and i apologize, but here is the point:

one of the reasons lung cancer, especially lung cancer in women, remains underfunded at research levels and continues to be viewed as a "smokers'" disease is there just aren't enough of us surviving long enough to get out the word and drum up support. there's an event coming up in philly, and if you are up to the challenge of a 5k run or walk and are in the area, come check it out:

Lloyd Hall at Fairmount Park
1 Boathouse Row at Kelly & Sedgely Drives
Philadelphia, PA
Sunday, November 4, 2007
8:30 AM

The second annual Free to BreatheTM Philadelphia event will return to its location in Fairmount Park along Boathouse Row. The race will consist of a 5K run/walk, one mile walk, rally, and patient support & education fair following the event. Come out and help raise public awareness of lung cancer and fund research for more effective treatments, thus reducing death and suffering from the disease.
Pre-registration fee is $20 and day-of registration is $25.
Day-of Registration opens at 6:30 AM.
8:30 5K run start.
8:35 5K and 1 mile walk start.

go to www.freetobreathe.com and find more info.

that's it from me for now. no more soap box. i'm down. smelling the sweet smell of my beautiful yellow rose and savoring the idea of my nice, clean sheets...