hooked up

today i'm recording my heart beats for the cardiologist. the mess of wires you see above connect to a conveniently small little battery pack with some sort of magical recording device contained inside. (begging the question, why are the battery packs so freaking big at the hospital? you put them in the pocket provided on the gowns and they basically cause the gown to fall right off of you, they're so heavy. and when you drop them, the leads rip right off, setting off the "oh sh_t, liz's heart stopped beating" alarm or something like that, and someone's running to make sure you're ok. smaller would be better.) this is all a result of my may 1 visit to the cardilogist where we determined (a) it doesn't look like anything is really wrong but (b) safe is always better than sorry so let's do some tests. so, the tests are being done, and we'll see what we get. i'm scheduled to meet with said caridologist in early june.

so. what else has been going on? lots of work, amazingly lots of it. after my week of samples, including two 12-hour days (always a good thing one week after completing cancer treatments... both mentally and physicaly) last week quieted down a bit and this week is a bit quietish too. i did some more running, which was great. i was feeling better than i have felt since february and even indulged in a romping 5k on saturday. slower than my slowest timed run ever, but much more satisfying at the same time. it was great to be out and actually see the miles progress and still feel like i had a tiny bit in the tank when i was finished. i have always considered myself incredibly competitive, almost to a fault. but following that run, i am content with being on the road to recovery. i have a long, long way to go (still attached to a heart monitor... remember) but the journey is ripe with potential. i think i have a long-term goal in mind, which would be to run the philly distance run in the fall. it is a half-marathon, but i think by then my energy levels should be much better along with my overall fitness. i won't be setting any land speed records or win my age group, but it is a great motivator and chances are, if you aren't a serious runner, i'd kick your butt so why don't you join me?

sunday brought a stellar mountain bike race and i was happy to volunteer some time getting people registered and catching up with friendly folks. it was a great day, because despite talking about the past months' trials and tribulations, i felt normal again. still tired from my run, but just normal. i wasn't even bummed out about not being able to ride; it was enough to just be there, seeing people, meeting people, and carrying on like normal. i still long to go for a nice ride and come home covered in dirt and mud and grime. but that will come with time.

i have gone from being a patient to being more patient with myself and my goals. i know i will do it because right now i am pretty sure i can do anything, with time.

and now, with my time, i will take a little nap. conservation for the next run, scheduled for tomorrow, tentatively. it might turn into a bike ride, since it is on the brain.