twelve down...

here is the gorilla dog. she is sharing the couch with me. see how she curls herself up into a nice, compact little ball? this is one of her many gifts. she thinks she can fit just about anywhere her humans are located. but she only curls up when she is feeling like sharing. typically when i sit on this couch she lies next to me, between me and the pillows. there is not enough room on said couch for such doggy comfort. yet, she insists. she's currently snoring; she sounds completely human when she does so. she often begins snoring before she is completely asleep. i know she's finally in the deep sleep once she's had her moments of whimpering, whining, and kicking in her sleep. she does it every time she sleeps, which is often. i wonder what is going through her head in those moments.

gorilla has been worried about me all week, following me around like a shadow. following monday's great weather, tuesday was a bit more of the same but i had that all-too-familiar sore throat and beginnings of sniffles. i was getting a cold. ridiculous. i've been so careful since october, avoiding germs at all costs and made it through a winter without being sick. i even boldly made the statement that maybe the cancer is what had made me so sick in the past couple of winters - those colds i just couldn't shake. who knows. i though i had made it through. well, not so fast. the remainder of the week has been full of sniffling and coughing. right now i have just about all the possible causes/reasons for having a cough: lung cancer, radiation treatment to my chest, to my lung, chemo treating the lung cancer, healing from lung surgery, and probably a cold, too. so there's little surprise i am coughing, and little chance i will stop completely anytime soon. i have never been so bothered by a cough, though. i am afraid to cough too hard; i don't want to upset any surgical scars/wounds that are still healing, if they still are at all. and i cough all the time - middle of the night, while talking, eating... anything can set me off. argh. and that's just the cough.

today i found out my white blood cell count is low, which is to be expected when one is going through chemo and radiation individually, let alone concurrently. this means i have to be ultra, super careful not to come into contact with any infectious folks, so i will be watching out for sneezers and runny noses and coughs and the like (isn't everyone sick right now?!). good news is i also snagged some antibiotics, better cough sauce, and something to combat the sinus congestion without making me feel like i am wired. this is all good. i hope to conquer the cold and go back to just being hung over from the chemo and radiation. it is so much better on its own.

so, the week has been a quiet one, lots of napping and trying to convince myself that eating is a good thing and i need to do it often.

wow, look at the time. i have to get to sleep.